New City, No Friends
by EvelynCarver
Summary: Toshiko has left prison for a new life and it's empty. And Suzie can be there for her. Pre-Season 1, sort of a sequel to Coming Back to Life.


**Title: **New City, No Friends  
**Word Count: ** 2133  
**Rating: **T  
**Characters/Pairings:** Toshiko Sato, Suzie Costello  
**Warnings: **Spoilers for S01E07, S01E08  
**Summary: **Toshiko has left prison for a new life and it's empty. And Suzie can be there for her.

Once Toshiko Sato had been at Torchwood for two months she'd settled quiet happily into a routine. She arrived at the hub six mornings out of every eight at nine o'clock and she worked until seven o'clock each evening. In the morning, which lasted until one or two, she would work on her own projects, in the afternoon she'd go over old artefacts or whatever else Jack had for her to do. Of course her routine only held true when there were no alerts and they didn't have to go out and retrieve something or stop an alien from trying to take over Cardiff or eat some old lady's cats. She spent three evenings a week in the shooting range, practicing under first Jack and now Suzie's tutelage.

It was during one of these training sessions that Tosh realised that she hadn't done anything beyond Torchwood since she'd been released from prison. Her sweater was much too large for her now and the extra material got in her way as she tried to concentrate on the gun in her hand. But the floodgate for thoughts had opened and they came at her quickly.

She didn't know the name of anyone in Cardiff, besides her co-workers and an awful lot of dead people. The amount of clothing that she was distressingly small and all of it was ill-fitting and ill-suited to her type of work, but there was never any time to go shopping. The same went for her sparsely furnished flat, she meant to get rid of her old stuff, and all the memories of London and her old life depressed her. But now, in the basement at six o'clock on a Friday night, she could see why her old life, with friends and a book club made her so sad, she was sinking.

A nudge on her shoulder from Suzie startled her and Tosh's hand tightened reflexively, the gun in her hand firing and catching a cardboard weevil in the chest. She lowered the gun and turned to look behind her at her co-worker.

Under Suzie's watchful and ever observant eyes Tosh removed her safety glasses and protective earpiece. Once she'd out the safety on her gun and set it on the table Suzie followed suit and crossed her arms, waiting for Tosh's explanation.

"Suzie, do you have other friends? Like people outside Torchwood that you hang out with? Is there anyone else in your life?"

Suzie raised her eyebrows and her gaze dropped down Tosh's body for a moment. "Not really, this job is 24/7. After a long day the last thing I have the energy to do is lie about every aspect of my life."

Tosh nodded. "What about Torchwood One or Torchwood Two people? Don't they have training sessions and conferences and lots and lots of workers that we could talk to? Get to know them, make some friends, anything?"

The expression on Suzie's face dropped from slight interest to disgust and anger in a second, Tosh took a step back knowing that she had made a mistake. "Look here new girl, I'll let this slide since you haven't been here very long, but Jack wouldn't and you should never mention the other branches of Torchwood again. We don't talk to them and they don't talk to us. Stay away from them, they are dangerous. And they'd probably send you back to UNIT or put you in one of their own, much less pleasant prisons."

Tosh felt a shiver run through her shoulders at the mention of prison, more proof that she needed to build some new, positive memories. "I'm sorry Suzie. No one had told me and there are emails from them sometimes, about field training development and stuff that we're invited to, more stuff that Jack's invited to."

The interested and slightly relaxed expression was back on Suzie's face. "Forget about Jack, let's call it an early night and do something fun, we can get dinner at someplace that doesn't serve fast food for once."

Slowly Tosh nodded. The idea of leaving early without Jack's express permission made her nervous. She had to keep him happy with her if she wanted to stay out of prison, and even if she didn't think that he'd send her back for leaving early, she really didn't want to risk it. "I guess that could be fun, to do something together that isn't work related."

Suzie grinned and for a second it scared Tosh, Suzie rarely smiled and it was usually related to killing a murderous alien or making some new leap in her studies of alien technology. "Great, I'll get a taxi and be outside your flat at seven. Be ready to go."

Tosh hurried to lock up the hub, Jack was out doing something and besides, he was perfectly capable of unlocking everything when he came back. She put on her coat that was too big and ill-suited to the near-constant rain in Cardiff, picked up her shoulder bag and ran for her car, rushing to get home in time to be ready for Suzie.

Once her shower was done and she'd dried hair and put on some of her better makeup, Tosh stood in front of her mostly empty wardrobe and realised how little she'd thought this through. She had one dress and it was more professional than fancy and it wasn't going to fit her properly anyway. She tried to put clothes out of her mind for a moment, going to her mirror and considering her hair.

With her reflection staring back at her, Tosh wondered what she was doing. She hardly knew Suzie and now she was going out for dinner with her. The woman scared her most of the time, she was not what Tosh was looking for in a new friend, she could hardly handle being her colleague!

Her phone buzzed and Tosh picked it up, hoping that it wasn't Suzie saying she'd gotten there early and where was Tosh. It wasn't. Instead it was a photograph of a rather nice skirt and an accompanying text that informed Tosh that Suzie was bringing it for her because, "It would fit her better and she probably didn't have anything nice enough."

Happiness and relief ran through Tosh and she renewed her efforts to prepare for the evening. Twenty minutes later when the doorbell rang she wrapped a towel around her waist, checked her appearance in the mirror once more and opened the door to let Suzie in. She took the skirt into her bedroom to change, checking to make sure that it fit and that it looked all right with her blouse, it was the only thing that would look okay, once tucked into the skirt and buttoned at the cuffs it wouldn't look as overly large on her as it actually was.

Suzie took her to the taxi and they were taken to a rather nice upscale restaurant that Tosh had heard Suzie mention once or twice. It was Italian and Tosh let Suzie order first, copying her order. She was still slightly worried about upsetting the woman and ruining the night again. This was going to be fun and she was going to make a new friend.

The food was good. Tosh had forgotten what decent food tasted like. These days she seemed to subside on Starbucks coffee, various takeaways and the frozen or microwave meals that she made at home. There wasn't time to cook in her busy life, and she'd never particularly enjoyed cooking as a recreational activity.

Throughout dinner their conversation was stilted, revolving mostly around places that Suzie had been in Cardiff and some of the better places to go shopping. They avoided topics like the past, anything to do with work and neither one of them was willing to take about the things that Tosh had mentioned earlier in the shooting range.

Suzie insisted on paying for the food once they had finished and she looped her elbow through Tosh's and took her outside. "The sky is beautiful tonight." Tosh said, looking up at the stars that could be seen through the street lamps.

Suzie snorted. "How many of those stars have got psycho killer aliens that want to eat your brain orbiting them?"

Tosh felt her sadness return a little bit. "But there is something beautiful on all those worlds out there." But even to her the words sounded fake and hollow. She couldn't see the beauty that was out there, all that she ever got to deal with was garbage and problems of other worlds and species.

"Enough of this, come on. I know a place that will be a fun ending to the evening. Just one question Tosh, are you any good at pub quizzes?"

In the three hours that followed, Tosh allowed Suzie to buy her several drinks, from beer to something with fruit juice that burned its way down her throat. She let her, after all Tosh was pulling in the win for their team of two against all the other people in the pub and she was drunker than she'd been since she'd started working for the Ministry of Defence.

When they won Suzie brought her another beer, along with one for herself and they sipped these together, Tosh giggling slightly every few minutes and Suzie just staring at her. When their drinks were done Suzie disappeared for a moment and returned with empty hands. She helped Tosh put her coat on and supported her as they walked outside and hailed a cab.

Tosh didn't notice that Suzie followed her up to her flat, only that she had something to lean on and someone was helping her with difficult things, like opening the main door and putting the key in the lock. When the door was open and she was inside, Tosh turned around to lock the door, but Suzie was standing there. She face crinkled into a frown, she didn't remember Suzie coming up with her, but then Suzie's face was getting really close to hers.

Then Suzie's lips were pressing on hers and the hand that had been helping to keep her upright was feeling around her back and when it undid her bra, Tosh gasped and pulled away, her brain struggling to get out of the alcohol induced faze it was in.

"Suzie." She looked at the other woman and stepped backwards. Suzie followed her into the flat and shut the door behind her before stepping closer and growling as she moved towards Tosh.

The next time that Suzie let go of Tosh both of them were gasping for breath and Tosh pushed on the other woman's shoulders, her brain was slowly returning to her. "Suzie, what are you doing? Stop!"

Suzie pulled back, straightening her sweater. "What? Tosh you asked me for this. I took you out, properly and everything. What, did you just want to talk?"

Tosh stepped further away, relieved when Suzie didn't follow her. "I want a friend Suzie, not this. I do need someone to talk to, about our job and about other things, like the news and the weather. I want someone to go shopping with, not someone that wants this!" She gestured between the two of them, indicating her undone blouse and Suzie's skirt that she'd ripped the zipper on.

"Fine then." Suzie did up her coat and arranged it to hide the broken zipper on her skirt. "Fine, live your stupid life alone for all I care. It's not like you can ever talk to anyone about it. Don't try and talk to meet again!"

Tosh sank to the couch as Suzie slammed the door behind her.

—

In three years, Tosh would look back on this moment with new insight. The next week when Suzie had seemed so relaxed it wasn't because Jack was happy or because they'd finally managed to figure out how to make more of the rift prediction program work. That was the week that Suzie had started to talk to someone and even if she did it under the cover of some weird club, she talked about things the way that Tosh had always wanted to.

When Suzie had died for the second time, Tosh felt guilty. Maybe, if she'd given in, if she'd responded to Suzie the way that Suzie had responded to her then maybe none of this would have happened. But then she remembered Mary and the hurt that she had felt so recently o because she had been lonely and she hadn't been able to say no. When she remembered the alien woman holding the knife to her throat, she thought back to Suzie's hands holding her head still and scratching her back and she knew that she had made the right choice.


End file.
